As If Patriots Are Real

I'd like to wish Madam Malaysia a Happy 51st birthday, I'm sure we all understand that she is going through menopause now, which explains the fitful situations there and the hot flashes of political unrest.

Anyway, I had a great time Denise, and Table Chanel no.5 (Derrick's cute group name for our table). the Momu Merdeka Dinner was entertaining.

Though we did not win the Hoyts tickets, nor the Wii console, at least Derrick won the Kbox vouchers, which I expect to make use of as well :)

The Merdeka Countdown at CQ gravity bar which I went with Shin Yeu and Denise, was certainly a giant salad tossing of Malaysians.

Let me teach you lesson on how to be a social "fake it till you make it"

I only know three people here
Lesson :

• Act like you know everyone! even if you dont!
• Call everyone 'Babe' , Even if they're dudes! At least it'll get you noticed!

(disclaimer: I am not responsible for all consequences resulting from my inane advice)
Spotted:
Joyce and Andy, Sasha and Balv, Kelly and Justin,Danny and Tammathy, Joanne Teo and friends, Caleb/Jiah Lit, surprisingly even an old high school mate, Samuel Yee was his name I think.

Yeap, that is as well as my memory will serve. It makes me realize,
Why the hell am I flying all the way here to meet friends that live in my own backyard in Malaysia?
It's great, all the same.

Now to tap into my chinese ancestry and sing some songs.

Holilaze

Pei Jien's (Pigeon's) Birthday!
Happy Coming-Out-Of-Your-Mother's-Vagina Day!

Oh Gosh, Look behind rach and li fang- It's the Cheshire cat.

This pic below is just a stray pic I decided to post as those who don't really track me won't know the difference anyway.OMG, I love facebook! all the pictures that are tagged with me inside are instantly delivered, I can jus copy paste here and save effort,time and money.
God bless Facebook.

Holilaze

Yes it's the start of the Lazy Daze. Springtime brings with it flies and spiteful sunshine.

All I really feel like doing is watch my movies.
It's about a boy who has no bellybutton and he's basically a supersmart 16-year old newborn. Funny and interesting. reccomended.

Next up: The sights of Melbourne.

Clubbinge

Clubbinge

Last two days was quite an event. I can't believe I'm actually fearing this post due to the amount of things I want to record. aiya Thalasemia!

On Thursday I went to Maison with Samantha, Shaza and JT. It was an impulse thing, and a wrong impulse it was. When we got there and parked in a cramped corner of the street (thanks to amazing kancil abilities) the indian NON-parking attendant came over to collect his fee. SiauChauMiau! (Mad Smelly Cat in hokkien), these people are probably just some extra fools from the mamak stall who came over to suck people's wallets! I hated him from the moment he stepped on that street! He half-heartedly waved his hands in my direction, in an attempt to seem like he was helping me park . Stupid Ash Hole. I was already parked.

Then upon entering Maison. wait a minute, is this a compressed air-tight sealed sardine can?! It was more packed than J'Lo's Ass! everyone's sweat was mixing with everyone's. aiya yucks and pui. Our group ended up with no choice but to dance in front of the toilet entrance. ahaha I know damn bodohsial. But at least it was right under an aircond vent. Whatever,music is still good but really hate the ridiculous crowd. It was a lousy clubbing experience save my loyal company that made it better.

After that always comes the after club mamak time- Wow the mamak near Maison's serves a good fried chicken. After gorging on tandoori and cheese naan,and samantha's fried chicken. I tried to stop myself, but after realising that these would be my last few mamak experiences, I continued to order another fried chicken, maggi goreng and botak thai coconut. LOVE IT! NEED LIPOSUCK.

Questions in my mind?
Why doesn't a brand build itself on being critically honest. Instead of exaggerated taglines like "Impossible is nothing", I'd like to see taglines like "It's not possible to be Nothing" for a Counseling agency, or "You need help" for Yellow Pages, or even "Ugliness is an OBVIOUS thing" for a plastic surgery clinic. See, they're honest and doesn't give unrealistic perception.

Happy Coming-out-of-your-mother's-vagina day!
On Friday, Shaza's birthday was celebrated at Salmon Steak House in SS15, I was afraid my organising would all just fail, but to my surprise, everything worked better than expected! more people came, more cake than could be eaten, more presents for shaza and an ultra enjoyable day it was. I had already pre-ordered a cake at the bakery next door to Salmon Steak House, wanting to get the staff there to send the cake over during the meal to surprise Shaza. so I had to subtly manipulate Shaza into thinking she picked Salmon steak on her own. When we got there, they were gonna sit outdoors, RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE BAKERY! cannot! I still had to sneak in there to pay for the cake n give instructions undetected. Quickly I said, "Hey! sit inside la, it looks like it's gonna rain later."
looks up at the cloudless sky...
"hurry lets go! I'm so hungry." I shoved them all inside the restaurant and we ordered our foods. Mission 2 :Pay for the cake.- I then used the pretense of going to toilet, *heart beats cuz of being sneaky* I wanted to walk straight out, (No,Royce you can't ,It'll be too obvious that you're not going to the toilet.) So I quickly went into the toilet first to scheme. After what seemed like an okay time for toilet usage, I tip-toed out of the toilet and slipped into the kitchen.

Chefs and smelly looking singlet armpit men pause to look at me. err..oh crap, thank goodness there was an alternate exit out! I sneaked out and into the bakery! mission accomplished! Paid and left instructions to come over when i call by telephone and to speak in mandarin so that Shaza doesn't understand since my seat is right next to her. And that people, is how you scheme you way into a successful birthday.

The After party party
After that, Me and Shaza prolonged the celebration by going to meet up with Winson, Alwyn, Sasha and Serena. We went to La Queen where a few more girls were waiting. It was my first time meeting Serena and Shaza's first time meeting Serena and Sasha, (woah what's with all the S'ses in the names) Asses. HA.
Anyway we really blended well together. The club had a much more relaxed and fun atmosphere compared to Maison just the day before. I gave a mineral bottle filled with Absolut Peach Vodka to Shaza to keep in her handbag telling her it was water.LOL.LAWL. Oh the cover charge is only 10 bucks! so it was so worth it. I just hope my drunken piss isn't detected during my medical checkup.
After pole dancing and a dance show, Me and the group began to dance wildly on the sofa's,wobbling here and damn fun at the time, but somehow describing it now just seems much less graceful...er...Ok fast forward!>>>>

After clubbing, we went to Jalan Ipoh for dim sum and had a very amusing chat with Serena who was from Indonesia. This is how it went, We started talking about MadTV first, then about series and stuff.Then till I said one of my fav words.

Me: pet pet la

Serena: omg! why you say pet pet? that's a very rude word in Indonesia you know!

all of us: HAH?

Me: here pet pet is a very cute way to say chee bai.

Serena: oh chibai is more common and normal in Indonesia. It's not so rude.

Me: But I think petpet is not that rude what. I mean then how to say it politely?

Winson: *looks at me* Kemaluan perempuan la you.

Me : *looks at him* Kemaluan lelaki la you!

Winson: Payudara la you *grabs my boobs*

Me: AHH! *mouth shocked* teach me more bad words Serena!

Serena: -_-" err..

Me: *looks at winson* Aiya Bansat la you!

Serena: Gasp! omg why you say that? Do you know that's is like Son of a bitch but its much much worse. If In Medan they hear you say that, they will *displays slapping motions*

Me : *giggles and points to Shaza* we saw it in the Final fantasy 12 game cuz one of the characther's name is Bansat, so Shaza was shocked when she saw it and explained to me it's a bad word.

Serena: Where I come from right, places like Medan, Puntianak, Pekan baru, They will slap you if they hear that.

Winson or Shaza: Puntianak? isn't that a ghost? Do you guys have puntianaks?

Serena: No we have *$&&$#(can't remember what's it called)

Shaza: How about Toyol?

Serena: ? what is toyol? *we explain its a tiny ghost child* Oh!! we call that Tuyul.

Me: *sweat*What other words is different between here and Indonesia?

Shaza: Oh i know, Budak. Here we always say like "Budak-budak mari main sini."

Serena: *nods profusely* ya! In Indonesia if you call people Budak it means Slave. And they will slap you! *emulates slapping motion* there we only say kanak-kanak.

Winson: Payudara la you *grabs my boobs again!*

Damn bodohsing only, we all laughing loudly at the dinsum place till everyone staring .Shamelessnya! Bansat la. But It was seriously one of the best Clubbing experiences in a long time.

Lost photos taken from Tim's blog.
During the MODA fashion show

At Ruums clubbing with Sam,Tim and Kissital.

ok I leave you here with my new fav saying

"Don't take life too seriously, No one gets out of it alive anyway."- Someone Witty.