Surrender?

Surrender?

Call me mentally narcissistic, but i just love hearing my own narration in my own head. Perhaps It's from hearing too much of Mary Alice's Voice in the blissful trance of my Desperate Housewives Marathon.

As i sort out my life, My mind-voice takes on this pretentious american voice that announces each problem to my own self in order.

As you all know that I have been counting off the days till RMIT would finally give me a reply. My parents were kind enough to start giving me backup plans and options. You have no idea how it wore my will to wait daily, watching my hopes for Australia slowly lose its reality and fading into a pretend imagination like that of those children play. While the options and backup plans grew more and more substantial in the back drawers of my mind, soon I would have to take it out and use it.

That day has come. Although they still would not give me a clear answer, RMIT has sent me an email with a defferment form and a form for refunding of my deposit. I think that more than sufficient a hint to ask me to surrender...for now.

So as things seem, the better option now (in grownup language), would be to settle for a job to gain some work experience. As I have only just decided to take these plans out of the mind-drawers, I have yet to decide on which one. Very like the situation you get sometimes when you dress in the morning. But in due time I will reveal my choice, hopefully with as much ease as picking clothes.


Sweet Dream

It's been such a long time since I even had a dream that makes sense, what more a SWEET dream. The details are all fuzzy now, but I distinctly remember the impression of being really happy in my dream, in fact I was so happy, I slept for 12 hours even after sleeping early.

Its setting was an open-air classroom out on a brick buildings' porch. The late night air was lightly veiled in dewy mist. everyone sat at their wooden desks, faces that were blurred, on the verge of my memory and some that were downright familiar until I woke up. I looked around giggling reveling in a lot of attention from friends.

The clearest moment of the dream was sensing something exciting that was to happen behind me, I looked over my shoulders to the row behind me. As someone's silhouette passed ,bustling chatting voices dimmed and time slowed. There he was sitting in the corner smiling at me.It was Aaron Woon. My heart leaped and double paced, I knew he was here to surprise me as he was not supposed to be in my class.

I jumped out of my seat and rushed to him like how you would when you see a long lost best friend. He got up as I reached him and I caught him in such a deep hug that he lifted me off the ground. At the moment, I found something I had lost for a long time. Joy.

Everything around me was a blur to begin with anyway. So I couldn't clearly remember what happened after that and I certainly don't even care because I hadn't felt that way in such a long time. A moment of contentment and just such bliss. So what if it was Aaron Woon, a guy whom I'm not that close with actually. Who cares that I was in a class with no teachers taking goodness knows what kind of subject? Who cares that the class is out in some dingy old building's porch in the dark? The point is, I found happiness in that dream. It was an illusion that was so pretty, it hurt me to wake up. But I had no choice in the matter... and it was all cruelly taken from me literally - in a blink of an eye.