Date: 29/12/19
Mood: Netflix mode
Location: Sydney
I thought I could commit to writing every day, but it turns out it's much harder to overcome my habit of binge-watching Netflix & Youtube.🎬
Work shifts have kept me busy. Some days are good and some days are horrible as I work in hospitality and cater to fussy VIPs at an RSL club. I have to put on a constant smile and appease so many that at the end of the day, I don't feel like engaging my brain any further and find it easier to just spectate a fantasy world on TV.🎦
I have to admit however, the 'Preface' post I wrote did make me feel subtly better. I noticed a positive note of my daily thoughts. Perhaps it's like a subconscious cheer that my mind knows I am willing to work on the deeper 'self'. The inward gaze is of meditation, is like a gentle sunrise over the garden of the mind.🧠 yes I choose to spew buddhist fantasies in times like these.
I have been convincing Wins that Melbourne is a far better fit for me, than Sydney as a city to live in, as what I'd call home. I was supposed to go on a road trip with him until New Year's Eve, but had been denied my 'leave application' as apparently I was not allowed to take these holidays off even though I am just working a Casual. This is one of the poisonous weeds I have identified in my mental garden - Resentment. 😡
I know focusing on this feeling makes me hate my job. However, this work takes up so much of my waking hours, mental energy that it is hard not to use it as my main fuel of daily life.
Putting it in this way though, it seems silly. Life is more than a job or even a career. I am tending to a weed in the mind garden, when I should be planting/tending to a fruit tree, and aim to grow a mental orchard instead.
Time to be more consistent, jumpstart the new year and rethink my mind-garden's focus...🔍
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