Life Chapter: Sydney Starter

JUST MOVED INTO CAMPSIE, NSW

I write this with a sense of tense internal pressure that has been building up, because things are not settling down.

I have been trying to hold back a whirlpool of emotions, just trying to ride the waves on the edge, but not get sucked into its endless depths. This is now my default state since leaving Malaysia in May this year.

It is coming to four months migration to Sydney, I thought adjustment wouldn't be so hard, I thought I was prepared since I've done it before in Melbourne, but the hardest part is actually a subconscious psychological issue - lonesomeness. 

Yes, we all have modern social media. However, I knew from the start of this techno-revolution, that it's a substandard way of connecting with your loved ones and cannot replace the soul-nourishing vibes of having their presence and company. 

Everyone says to be patient, "it (adapting to a new place) doesn't happen so fast, just take baby steps and you will get there, you will make new friends". 

It annoys me that they are right/justified and I have to pull out more patience where there is none. (If only throwing dramatised fits will get you somewhere, I would so achieve everything)

HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN TO GET HERE

I have waited over 7 years to get back to Australia, I stayed for 5 years in the same company just to fulfill the requirements of the Aussie immigration policies, initiated my migration application in Aug 2017, and finally got it in Jan 2019 thanks to NSW invitation letter. So it feels like I've invested so much already, but honestly, I was always aiming for Melbourne, not Sydney. So technically I'm still waiting.

I feel disappointed that the universe isn't making my path smoother, so I tell myself that perhaps there's a good reason that I was 'called' to Sydney, maybe some greater purpose I can't yet see. This leads me to have high self-expectations, to search for this purpose, and quickly open the door that might trigger all my dreams coming true. This is the internal stress/pressure I feel, why can't I see the Universe's point of me being here?

A PERIOD OF RESPITE IN MELBOURNE

Last month, I got myself into a situation where I asked to leave the rental room I was in, but the new unit was not yet vacated, so I became technically homeless for a month.

I decided to fly over to Melbourne for that long-awaited trip, reconnecting with Aunt LB and cousins. It was so satisfying to my soul, I really felt the difference of having people that can support you if disaster strikes, its a subconscious safety net operating across every decision I make.

I could totally see the purpose of this technically unplanned trip because I felt like a useful human being again, I bought a 1-way ticket and didn't know when I would fly back to Sydney, as there was no moving out date from the tenant then. 

There I was, waiting for my new apartment, living with Aunt Elbie in Ivana's pink room. The sense that I was a squatter was displaced by having family that I trust & the knowledge that I was back in my beloved city. 

HOW MELBOURNE HAS CHANGED FOR ME

It was wondrous to see the changes to Melbourne after 9 years! Walking around the CBD gave me tingles as new high-rises and shops overlayed familiar hangout spots from my Uni days. Everywhere I look, a mental screen pops up and plays flashbacks, stirring and bittersweet, faded in reminiscence but its emotional tones still ring clear to me.

I don't know why I've been chasing the dream of moving back to Melbourne CBD for nearly a decade. But finally being on Swanston street again, the deluge of memories, the ease of navigating, access to close friends and the presence of RMIT where both my degree studies and first job were. It was just confirmation that Melbourne's appeal has not reduced for me.

I was even blessed with a last-minute booking for an Airbnb right on Swanston & Collins, at Capitol Theatre. Kiani stayed with me, Jamie visited me; and for four blissful days, I lived my dream, my ideal life.

Then the unit in Campsie was finally ready, the fairytale clock struck twelve and I flew back to my new empty Chinatown pumpkin of a home, I'm referencing Cinderella because, like her, I worked hard for years just for a few nights of magic, which just as quickly ended.

I want to summarise that basically, I'm giving myself grief on top of the stress of this new move. My heart is torn between 2 places, stuck in Sydney because of my PR needs, yet completely emotionally attached to Melbourne and the friends & family there.

Self Emotional Processing & Recording Session Complete 

The Science of Sleep - LoRe (Lessons of Royce)

THE SCIENCE OF SLEEP

(From Royce's Footnotes)

I have had the fruitful opportunity to receive a lecture on the technicalities of sleep, conducted at my company  - Tropicana office tower.

The speaker is a sleep doctor, or sleep specialist, which can also be your GP or Ear, Nose & Throat specialist. There is the American Board of Sleep Medicine - http://absm.org/ to understand the collective of Sleep scholars in the field of Somnology.

R.E.M - Rapid Eye Movement

There are 5 stages of REM sleep and we begin our sleep by entering heavier, uninterrupted sleep at the start and progress into longer alternating intervals of light REM sleep and Deep (Non-REM sleep).

TOOLS OF THE TRADE

(PSG)
http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/guide/polysomnogram

EEG (electroencephalogram) to measure and record brain wave activity

EMG (electromyogram) to record muscle activity such as face twitches, teeth grinding, and leg movements; it also helps in determining the presence of REM stage sleep.

EOG (electro-oculogram) to record eye movements; these movements are important in determining the different sleep stages, particularly REM stage sleep.

EKG (electrocardiogram) to record heart rate and rhythm

Nasal airflow sensor to record airflow

Snore microphone to record snoring activity

SLEEP DISORDERS

These are just some of the known / common sleep disorders that people experience, but equal to the variety of minds out there, surely there are also more types of sleep disorders that remain unrecorded and undiscovered.

Approved Solutions

I personally am an advocate of natural remedies such as the healing art of scent.

Aromatherapy

The allopathic medical community would recommend Melatonin supplements, of course, you should seek professional medical advice before going for these.

Melatonin Supplement

Hope this information helps you get a better quality of sleep at night.

Good Zzz's to you.

Ashton Kutcher told me to be sexy - Teen Choice Awards 2013 acceptance speech

Screenstar Ashton Kutcher, practical joker host of MTV Punk'D, reveals his real name is actually 'Chris' and Ashton is really his middle name.
He accepted a Teen Choice award but surprised the audience with his unconventional speech.
With the poise of a public orator, Ashton got 'real' and talked about things a teenager really needs to know.

It feels like Ashton is finally done with the cougar hunger games and is moving on strong.
I love the simplicity and arrangement of his points.
1. Opportunity
2. Be Sexy
3. Living Life

Saving Fish From Drowning.

I heard of this Chinese saying that Amy Tan (on Ted.com) was explaining: "Saving Fish From Drowning."

She claims this old saying is from the Buddhist fishermen of ancient China. They felt bad for killing living beings for their livelihood, because according to their faith, fishes are just reincarnated human souls with bad karma.

To comfort themselves, these fishermen found the 'silver lining' to their 'dark cloud' with the saying: "We are simply 'Saving Fish From Drowning'...unfortunately, the fish dies in the process. "

I think it is a very sticky-in-the-mind quote because it's like an oxymoron but sounds like ironic poetry, yet the background story and context changes it from funny to steep deep.

Your opinion of the saying in relation to the story of these fishermen would cause you to reconsider your moral compass, your preconceptions of human vs nature, and then struggle with emotion and logic - "To sympathize with the working class or to defend fishes' rights?"

As with every quote I collect and internalize, I had an existential crisis and started asking questions like:
"Is it ok to kill animals for a living?"

"Is fishing a natural skill we evolved with, like Kingfishers?"

"Are humans a type of evolved fish?"

"If Humans are evolved, then why are we the ones endangering the whole planet."

"Killing seems wrong from human's perspective, yet hunter and prey are aspects of nature. Is killing to eat ok?"

***Mental Tangle***



The best part about the story is that this simple saying was the solution to their guilt. They didn't have to change anything they did, simply the way they saw things.

My problems are problems because I get into a mental tangle of negativity, juggling question after question when a simple mind shift might be the solution.

I see:
"Malaysian roads is a hellish battle of metal and honking. Drivers give you the finger, cuts your lane and then criticizes your mother. There are also occasional pothole minefields, flash floods, chain accidents and sudden motorbike gangs."

I positive paint:
"If I can drive in Malaysia, I can drive anywhere. Drivers think about my mother more than I do. Flash Pothole Minefield Flood is my new favourite driving reality game, like Grand Theft Auto, but real.


I see:
"Poor healthcare and waived human rights."

I paint:
"They know we can't afford Rich healthcare and when there is less human rights, it stands to reason that there should be less human wrongs as well.


I see:
"Racial discrimination and prejudice."

I paint:
"A lot of people are really good at racial profiling and simply giving their feedback on other cultures. People are probably saving a lot of time using prejudice, like court trials, judgement can be a slow process."


The lesson here is that having a positive view needs creative thinking, unconventional ideas and maybe even ironic poetry.

It's not a question of being right or wrong, it's more a question of how to see things different, how to find the silver lining of your own mind-cloud. That silver lining saves fish from drowning, it also saves people from drowning.

Vipassana Meditation & Alain de Botton's Philosophy of Success

Intro to Vipassana Meditation



For those who wish to learn about the ancient technique of Vipassana Meditation, its non-sectarian nature and its benefits, a video discourse approximately 17 minutes in length is available for viewing in both English and Hindi languages.


CLICK HERE FOR VIDEOS



I am pretty excited to be heading for this retreat. As a Public Speaking instructor, this year has made me grow is ways I've never imagined. It has taught me mastery of my voice in it's projection, tone and delivery. I have found that sound must also be imbued with body language to impart the full dimensions of a message.


This FREE course attracted me because it symbolizes the benefits of Silence. From the video, it talks about finding peace in the mind through observation. It reminds me of one of the Habits from Stephen Covey's book '7 Habits of Highly Effective People'. Being proactive, not reactive. I do believe that this age presents one of the highest mental stresses of all time. We are reactive creatures by nature and this programming will not allow us to live in harmony as our instincts say Survival Of The Fittest, but Society says we are all equal and living in a world of Meritocracy.


This form of thinking is further explained by this Ted Video by Alain de Botton, titled:
A kinder, gentler philosophy of success

He is the epitome of wit. I just love all his smart punchlines, keeping it relevant and entertaining. His message will really force you to rethink the terms of success. Has your vision of success been dictated by society or have you truly built your own path towards Inner Success.

I shall post my experience in the 10 day meditative retreat soon :)

What Would You Do If Your Mother Died?

6:18am

what would you do if your mom passed away now. choi choi touch wood

1. cry
2. get a post mortem
3. call all family members to notify
4. remind myself to be strong
5. call lawyer about her will and if funeral arrangements have been specified.
6. pick the church and discuss burial or cremation
7. I'd smoke a lot of weed and be really numb for a long while
8. find a therapist, keep reporting and communicating to distract myself
9. video record myself with my last words to mother to help get closure, put that CD together with her urn or casket
10. Put on strong face for everyone, and make her funeral about the appreciation of her life's influence, make it a 'proud and distinguished' ending to a great woman's life

Its better to have a ritual ready so u can just do it and get things done while ur mind goes blank at that time, you wont be able to think at all.

Virtues and Vices

Last night I had a dream... I lived in a world where everyone is born as a killing machine. Each person had skills that were meant for killing, and the world was filled with disgusting bloodthirsty creatures. I ran across the walls, defying gravity, the sweat prickling across my brow.
My fingers shot forth like spikes right into the horned beasts ribs and pierced its heart. It felt like a responsibility. It felt like my duty to just keep killing and growing in strength. For what purpose, I do not know, but I just had to kill.

I woke up to another dreary day.... Responsibility....
I remember many years ago my dad was the one that thought me that word. I had ran away to play with my cousin, to the bowling centre. I remember that split second where I had to choose between calling my dad and letting him know that I wanted to stay longer and risk him ordering me to go home, or I could just turn my phone off and I can play some more. I stared at the phone for a few more seconds, and I switched my phone off.

Needless to say, My dad tried calling me forever and then found me in the bowling alley. I was scolded like mad as he was worried that i had been kidnapped or something. That day, he taught me that responsibility meant that I had to put my commitments to others first, before my own playful desires.

It's a good lesson I've learnt. Now I try my best to consider others before myself. To put down my Pride. One of my deadliest sins. Shaza told me about the 7 heavenly virtues that i meant to fight the 7 deadly sins. Found this on Wiki


I love the Latin words, this is the 7 sins and virtues chart.

Virtue	Latin	Gloss	(Vice)	(Latin)	Virtue's Meaning
Chastity	Castitas	Purity	Lust	Luxuria	Abstaining from sexual conduct according to one's state in life. Embracing of moral wholesomeness and achieving purity of thought through education and betterment.
Temperance	Temperantia	Self-Control	Gluttony	Gula	Constant mindfulness of others and one's surroundings; practicing self-control, abstention, and moderation.
Charity	Caritas	Will, Generosity	Greed	Avaritia	Generosity. Willingness to give. A nobility of thought or actions.
Diligence	Industria	Persistence, Effort	Sloth	Acedia Tristitia	A zealous and careful nature in one's actions and work. Decisive work ethic. Budgeting one's time; monitoring one's own activities to guard against laziness.(The Vice "Acedia" is more commonly known as "Sloth")
Patience	Patientia	Peace	Wrath	Ira	Forbearance and endurance through moderation. Resolving conflicts peacefully, as opposed to resorting to violence. The ability to forgive; to show mercy to sinners.
Kindness	Humanitas	Satisfaction	Envy	Invidia	Charity, compassion, friendship, and empathy without prejudice and for its own sake.
Humility	Humilitas	Bravery, Modesty	Pride	Superbia	Modest behavior, selflessness, and the giving of respect. Giving credit where credit is due; not unfairly glorifying one's own self.

A Friend In Need Is A Friend Indeed?

 Whoever came up with that saying needs to clarify. I ,personally, would rather say it with a sarcastic accent on the 'indeed'

A friend in need, is a friend INDEED~ hmph.

Lately, all I'm getting is these requests from friends of what they need and their personal complaints. A whole year's worth of it in fact as 2009 was a big lump of those issues.

I know it sounds like I'm complaining as well now, but my point is that friends who come to you in 'Need' actually come to you with desires. The desire that you will show sympathy for whatever small issues they're dealing with. My theory is that those who are seriously in need are those who keep it quiet and just soldier on alone. Those are the ones that are truly suffering.

The problem with this is you'd need to be close enough for them to feel comfortable enough to share it. I know a few who are in deep suffering and I don't know how to break that unseen barrier and talk to them.

Urgh, whatever. I think from now my philosophy is simple. When they are not acting like your friends, they probably aren't. Friendship, like everything else, probably has a season for it. We'd all love to think its permanent and eternal, but it doesn't if the two parties doesn't work on it.

Hmm, takes a lot of stress off. I've been punishing myself half my life (I was a loner before that) thinking I've not tried hard enough for others, pushing aside my needs for others. When others always end up taking advantage of it. I think enough of that bullshit.

For now, I will be working on me. I won't be very contactable by phone btw and am not in the mood to reply much.

Till I'm done, good luck with your shits.

Puzzles

Today i explained life pretty simply to my friend.

Everyone is here to piece together their own puzzle.
Different people at different times hold the pieces of our puzzle.
We simply have to listen when we feel the call, the call of destiny, the call of each of our puzzle piece.
When we learn the lesson from those sent to us, friends we were destined to meet, soul-mates that touch our lives, the puzzle fits. Our lives become that much more clearer.

Good luck with your puzzle :)

Cold Sweat Financials

I just got of the phone with my mom.
It feels horrible. I feel like I'm disowned.

Apparently I will only be financed til the end of the year.
Knowing this makes me feel like I will be living on the streets from 2010 onwards.

My parents are the type that throws you into the deep end and hopes you grow gills.


Stress stress.

cold sweat.

Guess my plans for picking berries on the farm isnt such a great financial decision after all.

Just A Thought

My reply to my friend, Derrick's very open and insightful musings. It is not like him to be so frank, but I like it.

My reply:

I consider myself an explorer of both thought patterns. When I was in Primary School till mid of Secondary, I was an observer that internalized what I saw and rationalized. Since then till Last year, I’ve been the one who acts, externalized emotions and downsized thought.
In both sense, drama is omnipresent. It is simply the paradigm from which you see it. When you look out for something, the more often you find it.
I doubt that there is a stable balance to anything. I think in nature and in the basic pattern of the universe; it is always more of a wave. A flux between two extremes that continually repeats. Change is the only constant.
Its like standing on a boat out at sea. The harder you try to hold your stance, the more likely you will fall. It you allow yourself to sway to the rhythm, you’ll have a better ‘balance’.
Just a Thought~ Royce.

Response-ability = Responsibility

Have you seen the movie?He's Just not that into you has a very valuable, albeit, hard lesson for boys and girls alike.

The thing is, many of us are taught by the Disney fairy tales and commercial Media to believe in fairy tales and to keep hoping.

The problem comes when we are faced with issues and challenges, yet still expect the best to always come out of it. A happy ending everytime.

The problem with that assumption is that we set ourselves up for disappointment. We are not always going to succeed when we aim for it. We will have to fail sometimes. More often than not.

For those like me, gifted with an active and powerful imagination, needs to take even more caution. I notice that I tend to 'rewrite' history in my memories, to make myself less upset. This is bad when you are in a fight with someone, and you look at it as if you're completely right and they are completely wrong. creating a warped vision of the situation.

"We Don't see Things as they are, We see Things as We are." - philosopher/someone wise

I noticed this pattern in my wifey (girl bestie). The situation she's in, is created when there is no other visible options around. When one person has only this other single person to depend on, That other person then takes on a higher than appropriate position in their lives. Creating a fantasy to drown in.

Finally, an important lesson, is we should learn to take responsibility.

Responsibility = Response Ability. The ability to choose your own response in any situation.

We humans have the gift to choose our own reactions; Animals don't. The problem is sometimes that it is so much easier to blame someone else for how we feel. E.G

"I hate him! he makes me feel sad all the time."; " If only she'll stop saying I'm fat, I'll feel prettier." ; "Why can't someone just fall in love with me, and then my life will be perfect"

The pattern with all of these statements, is irresponsibility. Each is saying that they're happiness lies in the hands of someone else rather than themselves. Each gives power to others, whether it is a loved one, a friend or even, an Enemy!


I'm not saying it is easy. I find it very hard myself, to take responsibility and take the initiative to change myself. It leaves you no one to blame.

So stand up my friends. Take your rightful feelings into your own hands.

Premonition

Hours after I wrote the last post, something tragic happened.

It turns out, my instincts are stronger than I thought. The bad thing that I felt coming, finally happened.

My grandmother had a stroke.



Awaken by my parents' early return from Shanghai, I got up to find my dad knocking on my door telling me my grandma had a stroke and to go downstairs and help my ah ma

In a daze, I went down to my grandma's room where my mom was helping her get out of bed. I ask my grandma " Why didn't you tell me?" feeling utterly guilty that I had been at home but completely ignorant of the situation.
Grandma started crying and explained that she only noticed she couldn't walk yesterday. Her speech was slurred and her right limbs were almost paralyzed as she was lifted out of bed.

She was admitted into the hospital.

All my fears about death and suffering seemed to be pushed into my face. As if the Divine power required me to deal with everything in one swift blow. I walked into the hospital horrified. All the sick, maimed and dying were gathered here. The fragility of life on display for all.

Blood pressure tests,Blood samples,and a CT scan later, My grandma laid on the hospital bed with a tube running through her nose into her stomach. They said she seems to have had only a mild stroke.


It's been five days. She's much less of the woman she was. Yet, her fighting spirit remains as she tries hard not to be dependent. I've come to realize that rejecting death is also rejecting life. Things happen for a reason and perhaps this fear was placed upon me to come home to appreciate my family.
It was also because of my return to KL that my parents cut their trip short and was able to detect my grandma's problem before she fell or before her condition worsened. I'm just glad I was here for my grandma.


It seems I really do have the gift of foresight. Sometimes you'd wish gifts like these could be returned.

The Deep and Heavy Issues

Everyone has issues. Some seem trivial, some seem impossible.

What does it take to jolt a person out of the calm illusion of everyday life?
What makes a person take stock of their lives and ask "If I die tomorrow, Will I die happy?" Can I say I have done my best?

The Fear of death was my 22nd birthday present.

I currently face, almost every day and every hour, the thought of death. The idea of being nonexistent. or of being aware that I am dead. Of being in a sleep-like state.

the inevitability of it. The finality of it. the end of me as I know it.


I hate this urgent feeling. The sense of the running out of time. I thought it would go away eventually. One month doesn't seem to be the cure. I know this is a can of worms that everyone tries to avoid or remedies with faith that they dare not question.


So I try to understand it. Death is inevitable, therefore just live in the present, live in the now, just live.

I want to be close to my parents. I want all my relationships to be fulfilling and close. I want to be able to die fearless and knowing it was a life worth living. I want people to know the real me.

No I do not have cancer or any known fatal disease. The doctor did not pronounce death upon me. No predictions of doom was uttered. But I just have the fear of the bad that is coming.


Living like a ticking time bomb pushes me to force change. Change is not comfortable. Change is scary. But Change is the only constant.

I've just read my sister's post about me. It galls me inside. It hurts to know you've hurt others. To hear what the person thinks about you. When all is said and done, are we still going to argue over who's right and wrong?

I don't think anybody wants to build bad relationships. How does it happen? Is it because the person is fundamentally flawed? caused by bad choices? or like she said, "all a misunderstanding" one after another till it forks a relationship apart.

Pride makes people think they're right in every situation. Doubt is buried. Regret is born. We all wish we could re-do certain things. But I am honestly sorry that I've hurt you in anyway Rose. I can't say it face to face yet. but I hope you hear me through the web. There are emotional walls I built for many years so I freeze up when it's time to feel.

But if I die, ... I want you to know that I remember chasing those butterflies too.

Honestly

It's really hard to be honest.

Husbands sometimes keep things from their wives; A son hides his lifestyle from his parents; A friend that may never confess their deepest thoughts. All fearing that somehow telling the truth may disrupt the delicate balance that exists.

You know what I think is the hardest of all?



Being honest with yourself.


When you lie to yourself, there's no one there to see the nervous twitch, or that darting eye, or that little-too-fast tone. Who can tell if you're lying to yourself?

What's worst is that sometimes the mind lies so convincingly, you believe that lie. Your mind creates an illusion that blinds you from what was there in the first place. After years of living that way, getting comfortable and jaded. Can we ever break it then?


Today, I bring myself to trial and interrogate myself. How do I really feel?

...

Hmm...why do I have to go through this again? I seem to have forgotten. Guess my mind has a strong safety control switch .
I just feel a general regret and something deep at the back of my throat.

Maybe you're right we do need to take a break.
I think I should mention to you that I may have overreacted, It takes two hands to clap and I'm sure I have to take some of the blame. It's my tendency as the crowned drama queen to blow things up - LIFE SIZED. So I'm sorry. and my reason? - like Sandra Oh in Grey's Anatomy said " It's because you're (insert name here), and I'm Royce."

Though I can't be honest with myself, I can at least be honest with you.


Royce.


ps: Grrrowing up sucks ass!!!

Youth Is Wasted On The Young

"youth is wasted on the Young",
or so the saying goes;
"youth is wasted on the Young",
with envy said the Old;

As if there's no better way,
for the young to spend today,
as a body soon to mold;

Time will pace and race with haste,
as the Young go through their phase
carefree as the days unfold;

They laugh, They cry, They gallivant,
They sing, They dance, experiment;
The youth They possess was surely spent,
The youth of yesterday just came and went.

The Old and Ancient sit in their place,
The Old and ancient droopy face;
sit and reminisce on the days-
their youth enjoyed, Aprils, Mays.

"A word from the wise, m'boy",
said the old man on the bench;
"worry not how your youth is spent,
for that's the best way to prevent...

a Life in fear you never meant."


~ A poetic epiphany by Royce ~

Thoughts on turning 22

All this time I was growing up... now I'm just growing old.

:( boooo.....

Inspira

Everyone should watch this show.

LAST HOLIDAY

At Least I have a new inspiration and view of life.

Musique Forecast : Soon to be top charters

Kristina Debarge - Goodbye

Life is too busy to be wasted blogging. So I shall keep it minimal.

Life for Rent

No! it has nothing to do with Dido's Album, except her song's stuck in my head now.
I am sooooo incredibly stressed right now at looking for a new place to live.

Shut uP! I know you bitches are snickering away, laughing at my suffering here.
You have no idea how tough it is to find a place in Melbourne city when you have a BUDGET, need a good LOCATION and you have just come out of a scary housemate situation.

What if I get another freak for a housemate?! when will the horror end?!!




I feel like one of those idiotic horror movie characters that inevitably stick their heads in all the wrong places. (OohH~ Dark creaky basement, I shall walk down slowly to be attacked)

AHHH!!! LANJIAU! SISTER SANTA MARIA !! Another Freaky Housemate!

Yeah, I have to move out in two days, and I have nowhere to go yet. The anticipation is getting to me. I think I'm just going to end up in the backpackers.

No plan B's, No kind offers, No parents to bail me out.

This is Real life boys and girls. the tough shit. Anyone want to rent my life for a bit?

Stars at 2008's end

I think, when you whisper to the night sky, the stars can hear us.

And when you look up; and someone you're thinking of looks up too. The two are connected.

You share the same night sky even though the other is far far away. If you wish hard enough. Maybe the stars will whisper your message to your loved ones too.

Some people even believe that stars are responsible for a person's character, which they call Horoscopes. Some believe they influence destinies; especially those who would be lovers.

Well, Venus must have blessed Aquarius because my lovely Aquarian cousin, Teresa, has finally "put a ring on it" after a 7-year relationship.

I have been inspired by a certain star in my life to appreciate those around me.
There are twelve constellations in my sky, like the twelve horoscopes.
Each shining like a supernova in my life.

You know who you are, always sending me sweet and encouraging messages. Making me laugh when my day is feeling pointless. A small signal from you burns brightly in my heart for days.

These people do it really often and I feel, deserves my public thanks and loving~

Rachell (Your heart is open to me, when all others beg to get into yours. I feel so privelleged.our spa sessions and movie nites does wonders to my mood! no matter how bad the day, You're there to be my emotional healer.)

Shaza (Your constant care was felt even when I was in Melbourne, you never let distance get in your way. I'll always appreciate that, and hope to learn from you. Distance shall not impede me! My fearless inspirer.)

Cynthia (Your listening ear has been there for so many years. I feel like you know me more than I know myself sometimes. For better or worse. lol. You really are the witness of my life, Lou poh.)

Khun (Your chats with me broke through my wall. It made the ending of 2008 so super fun & exciting. Even now,back in KL, when most of my close friends are far away, you still take away the loneliness. You are my brother and my heart. )

Winson (Your timing is always just right. When I'm in trouble, you appear. You know how to make me feel safer and you do the sweetest things for me. You are my protector, always watching out for me. I am secure when you're there.)

You guys made 2008 My happiest year so far. From the Beginning when Markus and Winson and a big gang of us were gallivanting around, right to this day, The last day of this year.

The rest of you out there, as many as the stars in the skies. You know I love you too. If you've taken the time to check out my life, you have received what I can give. A moment in my life that was shared with you.

May the stars always shine bright for you.
Happy New Year!