[Preface]
As I continue writing this series, transcribing my own younger mind from paper to digital format, I find it confronting to revisit my past thoughts, immaturity, and suppress the "what the hell was I thinking?" response. However, it feels therapeutic as I shall now include comments on how I would advise myself from the future.
I shall basically pretend to be a time traveller, interacting across time-space with my teenage self through my journal and imagine if I could/would change key turning points in my life.
I've also come to realise that it is my vain attempt at immortality and legacy. I say vain, because nothing lasts forever even if it is the internet, and it is playing to my ego; Yet it gives me a way to validate my existence, and hopefully help others in the future, even if I feel like I can't help much now.
This project is painful and embarrassing because I saw my teenage self as a strange otherworldly creature stuffed into a dark-skinned nerdy gay fat suit, who had multiple personalities, hypersensitivity, and didn't play the role of a Human very well at that.
In saying that, the goal for me here is to be thankful. A Gratitude Journal EXtraaa, because technically this is going to be a journal within a journal, but aimed at gratitude, for who I've become.
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[21/10/2K]
Exams have ended! finally relax time. These few weeks though, I had bad luck following me, like, almost getting kidnapped by an Indian man, losing my pencil box, lose my housekeys, huge headaches, fall sick when I walk back home in the rain, people being unkind, hurting me, LRT train spoilt, and so much that I forgot.
(Future Royce: "Well roycie, I know it can feel like a lot. If it's bad luck, it can't be targeted at you so don't worry too much, it is simply a pattern of unfortunate things, and you being observant is a good thing to hone. Let's look at ideas to not lose stuff so much though.")
Only recently there was some happiness. It was last Saturday at Bukit Kiara, I was sitting in the coffee house waiting for Mum and Pa at a wedding while playing Yellow version Pokemon. I played till I got giddy, had to stop. I went to the paddock where the wedding was held to look for my parents.
I tried to call my father, then I saw my mother and Rose, so I walked over and started eating a little of the buffet, even thought I got to eat as much as I want, I'm starting to get tired of all this Bukit Kiara food and buffets...
(Future Royce: "Wwoah, entitlement alert!. don't get bored, get creative, mix those flavours and make new combos.")
Then I sat at a table to eat and I thought the wedding would be damn boring but it didn't turn out that way! So, after I ate, I asked my mother if she wanted to dance, and so we told the DJ to totallly start turning poolside into a disco party. So we started dancing, they played good music, and someone fell into the pool. then another pushed someone into the pool! Then one by one, people were pushed into the pool. By then, lots of people had to leave soaking wet. great night.
(Future Royce: "I think this is your first taste of what we will be calling 'Clubbing' later on. Good that you are using the good memories to balance out the bad. The gratitude you have for that moment already got you through the so-called 'bad luck', and more of those gems will get you through life's sequence of events. Oh, and Pokemon will totally be big again someday, start practicing how to draw them...although you think 151 pokemon is a lot now...hah! wait till you get to when I am.")
[End of entry]
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